Operations Research Tom Swifties

I apologize in advance, and you’re welcome. Add your Tom Swifties in the comments!

  • “Queuing theory says that the registration line will move faster if we all stand here,” Tom said optimistically.


  • “Ah, but what did you expect? It was a grad student talking about Simplex at a sponsored session!” Tom pivoted.


  • “Oh yeah, Gomory would positively rave over your choices,” Tom said cuttingly.


  • “I don’t know the best way to the airport, but I can tell you what I did last time,” Tom said warmly.


  • “I assure you darling, my derivatives are continuous in an extremely large neighborhood near the solution,” Tom said smoothly.


  • “My model says that if I post this on a Tuesday, I’ll get more 20% blog hits,” Tom said analytically.


  • “There may be some error in the data, but don’t worry, we’ve accounted for that,” Tom said robustly.


  • “Just choose the largest slice and be done with it,” Tom said greedily.


  • “Break the constraint if you want, but it’ll cost you,” Tom said softly.


  • “I use Avogadro’s number in all of my big-M constraints,” Tom said unstably.


  • “Things have never been better,” Tom said monotonically nondecreasingly.

Author: natebrix

Follow me on twitter at @natebrix.

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